Nelson is a Nielsen

For the past five days, I’ve been an official Nielsen family. Ah, the power. Will viewer-deprived shows like Arrested Development live to see another day? I decide. Will new shows such as that reality show about rich spoiled brats who might lose their allowance or that other reality show about deluded people who want to be Hiltons joins the ranks of Survivor and its ilk as America’s favorite reality-based programming? I decide.

Actually… it’s not really like that. Oddly enough, I’ve become somewhat paralyzed by the responsibility. I don’t want the Nielsen people to know that I’ve been watching Judge Judy or yet another Seinfeld rerun. And at the same time I don’t want to lie and pretend I’m just watching PBS – thereby degrading the process [take note, AK, if you read this]. So, instead, I watch nothing.

Of course, by watching nothing, I guess I’m sort of lying as well, since the pressure of being observed has made me deviate from my normal patterns of behavior. I guess this may be a web of lies from which I will not escape.

On the plus side, though, Nielsen sent me $10 (in CASH!) for my trouble.