Observations from a Night at Pedro's
1. Karaoke singing is bad. Karaoke rapping is… words don’t describe the horror.
2. Cycling during the Tour de France is apparently very chivalrous. For instance, if the lead cycling dude needs to stop and pee, everyone else just politely slows down, averts their eyes, and waits for him to catch up.
3. The Tour of France is also much more complicated than one might imagine. I always thought that it worked more like The Amazing Race. Guys on bikes lined up. Someone said go. First one across France, with some pit stops along the way, was the winner. How foolish of me. First off, there’s more than one winner. It’s actually kind of like a dog show. There’s one big winner (sporting a yellow jersey), one best sprinter winner (in a green jersey), one best climber winner (in a white jersey), and one best young person winner (in a comical polka dot jersey). I wonder if the other cyclists laugh at the polka dot guy behind his back. Oh, and get this. There’s actually this thing where if you win one of the special stages, they subtract time from your overall race. It’s kind of like if they had a rule in basketball where, if you scored a basket when the clock read “5:55” or something, they would add an extra ten points to your overall score.
4. Empty stomach + Mug-oritas + Greasy chips = Nausea
2. Cycling during the Tour de France is apparently very chivalrous. For instance, if the lead cycling dude needs to stop and pee, everyone else just politely slows down, averts their eyes, and waits for him to catch up.
3. The Tour of France is also much more complicated than one might imagine. I always thought that it worked more like The Amazing Race. Guys on bikes lined up. Someone said go. First one across France, with some pit stops along the way, was the winner. How foolish of me. First off, there’s more than one winner. It’s actually kind of like a dog show. There’s one big winner (sporting a yellow jersey), one best sprinter winner (in a green jersey), one best climber winner (in a white jersey), and one best young person winner (in a comical polka dot jersey). I wonder if the other cyclists laugh at the polka dot guy behind his back. Oh, and get this. There’s actually this thing where if you win one of the special stages, they subtract time from your overall race. It’s kind of like if they had a rule in basketball where, if you scored a basket when the clock read “5:55” or something, they would add an extra ten points to your overall score.
4. Empty stomach + Mug-oritas + Greasy chips = Nausea
posted by OleNelson at 11:27 AM
6 Comments:
The polka-dotted jersey is actually the climbing jersey. I dug the matching polka-dotted hat (oops - helmet) that the guy with the polka-dot jersey had yesterday.
M.Wil commented yesterday (not knowing about the jersey) that the guy in polka dots had made an "unfortunate" clothing choice. She was shocked when I told her that sporting the dots is an honor!
Ohhh - you were so close to getting everything right! You were spot-on about the chips and the nausea and about the karaoke rapping, but you mixed up the white and polka-dot jerseys, and the time bonuses are given at the end of every stage and at every inter-stage sprint point.
It's simultaneously-correction day!
If they weren't all out of stock, you could order your own dork-tastic jersey-matching cycling caps here: http://trekbike.co.uk/acatalog/copy_of_2004_Tour_of_Britain_Jerseys.html
There's also the dunce cap and big red nose that go with the polka dot jersey.
Karaoke to Sean "Puffy" Comb's soulful-rap remake of Sting's "I'll be watching you" would be pretty bad.
Whoa. I shudder at the thought of rap girl attempting Puffy-based karaoke. "And Then I Got High" was bad enough.
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