Stupid Technology
My left iPod ear bud is experiencing technical difficulties. It’s all crackly and distorted and sucky. To fix it, I have tried:
1. Putting it on my counter and glaring at it
2. Shaking it wildly over my head
3. Flicking it with my index finger
None of these have worked.
In other news, Britney Spears-Federline has a baby boy! And I absolutely cannot wait to find out what she names it. You KNOW it will be terrible. Cheeto Federline? Something with several silent q’s? Kevin Junior? Table Spoon Hyena Federline? Who knows?
And even more hilariously, there now becomes a distinct chance that two different friends of mine may give birth on the same day as Brit-Brit. Hold off until midnight, y’all!
UPDATE: While I was initially utterly disappointed to learn that Brit had gone with the seemingly dull "Preston Michael Spears Federline," this all changed when I realized that she had actually named her spawn "PMS Federline." Well played, Brit. Subtle.
1. Putting it on my counter and glaring at it
2. Shaking it wildly over my head
3. Flicking it with my index finger
None of these have worked.
In other news, Britney Spears-Federline has a baby boy! And I absolutely cannot wait to find out what she names it. You KNOW it will be terrible. Cheeto Federline? Something with several silent q’s? Kevin Junior? Table Spoon Hyena Federline? Who knows?
And even more hilariously, there now becomes a distinct chance that two different friends of mine may give birth on the same day as Brit-Brit. Hold off until midnight, y’all!
UPDATE: While I was initially utterly disappointed to learn that Brit had gone with the seemingly dull "Preston Michael Spears Federline," this all changed when I realized that she had actually named her spawn "PMS Federline." Well played, Brit. Subtle.
posted by OleNelson at 8:47 PM
6 Comments:
C'mon, Adam Q. Jr - two hours left on this momentous day! The AQJr and 2hawt4U Federline could be little crack buddies!
I think Elijah Bob Patricus Guggi Q Spears-Federline would be perfect.
Apparently Guggi was the Bono-supplied nickname of one of Bono's childhood friends, who in turn gave Bono the nickname Bono.
Here's some food for thought:
I read in another gossip column that Mrs. S-F was thinking of the name Preston because of its meaning, "Dweller in the church"
is "In the Church" another way of saying "In Britney's Uterus"?
Oh, in "Freakonomics," there was a bit about how white-trash moms like to name their kids "Micheal" (as opposed to "Michael") and other mispellings of common names.
Guess Britney has good spelling after all.
I just threw up my lunch.
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