Stick to Acting, CrazyTomCruise

It should come as no shock that my first real post-hiatus post concerns the one-and-only CrazyTomCruise.

But I will not be discussing his alleged eating of the placenta. Or my strong disappointment with the relatively normal name of “Suri.” Or the fact that we haven’t heard ANYTHING from Kat(i)e Holmes-(Cruise) in quite some time.

Instead, I will discuss his prose.

If you haven’t heard, CrazyTomCruise has written a “piece” on J.J. Abrams (who directed him in Mission Impossible III) for Time magazine’s silly 100 People Who Shape the World thing. [Side note: the list includes Tyra Banks and Howard Stern – “silly” is an understatement.]

The whole thing is hilarious, of course. It reads like My First Day with a Thesaurus, and includes such choice phrases as “an insouciance that promised anything was possible” and “laying waste to specious barriers.”

My favorite part, though, is the following: “It's hard to convey with brevity the extraordinary experience of knowing and working with J.J. Abrams. First of all, is there anything in a name—J.J.? Look at the Jays we have now—Jay Leno, J. Lo, Jay-Z—but he's got two Js. He was born to impinge and invade pop culture.”

I think CrazyTomCruise was born to impinge my sense of humor.