Law & Order is Ruining My Life

As many of you know, I was a late convert to the whole Law & Order thing.

For many years, all I knew about the show was that I hated the bum-bum business and I hated that opening credits shot I always saw of the cast walking down the hallway together. They’re all walking in a straight line. And laughing just a tiny bit. It all seemed so forced and false, and that’s what I assumed the show itself was like (I’ve never claimed to be one against judging a book by its cover).

Then I actually watched the now-beloved L&O.

And of course I became a complete addict and started relishing the fact that if one has cable, some version of L&O is available for at least 18 hours out of any given 24 hour period. Much like shows with people hitting themselves with sledgehammers (or some such thing) on MTV.

So obviously this silly show about the two opposite and equal parts of the criminal justice system is ruining my life simply by distracting me from more worthy pursuits. Like blogging.

But it turns out that there is a more serious problem.

While talking to my cousins about cars and such over Thanksgiving weekend, I said something about my general disdain for the gas-guzzling nature of SVUs.

Trust me. There’s nothing that ruins your credibility with a certain crowd like confusing Sports Utility Vehicles with Special Victims Units. And sadly, this is NOT (REALLY not) the first time this has happened to me recently.

Truly embarrassing. And one of the worst bits is it makes it harder for me to mock one of my students who confused “mercenaries” with “missionaries” throughout an entire recent paper. Harder to mock, but certainly not impossible to mock.