Almost as Scary as Unexpectedly Encountering a Baldwin
Two things today made me nearly leap out of my skin in fright.
The first occurred when I was walking down Dayton Street and reading a book. No, I didn’t trip over a curb or get side-swiped by a Buick. And no, I didn’t get frostbite on my ungloved reading hand.
Instead, a giant raccoon jumped out at me.
It hissed. I pondered exit procedures and fretted about the likelihood of Different Strokes-esque shots in the stomach.
I was moments away from throwing my gym shoes at it as a decoy when it squeezed itself into a nearby sewer drain thing (not the technical name). Disaster was averted.
The second fright-o-the-day was when I flipped through the cable news networks and saw Jesse Ventura. That alone is, of course, frightening. But this was a Jesse “The Body” Ventura who was sporting a bald head rimmed by very long, very stringy black hair and this bizarre goatee thing that involved two long braids linked together six inches below his chin. It was a sight.
And? Ventura is considering a presidential bid in 2008.
The first occurred when I was walking down Dayton Street and reading a book. No, I didn’t trip over a curb or get side-swiped by a Buick. And no, I didn’t get frostbite on my ungloved reading hand.
Instead, a giant raccoon jumped out at me.
It hissed. I pondered exit procedures and fretted about the likelihood of Different Strokes-esque shots in the stomach.
I was moments away from throwing my gym shoes at it as a decoy when it squeezed itself into a nearby sewer drain thing (not the technical name). Disaster was averted.
The second fright-o-the-day was when I flipped through the cable news networks and saw Jesse Ventura. That alone is, of course, frightening. But this was a Jesse “The Body” Ventura who was sporting a bald head rimmed by very long, very stringy black hair and this bizarre goatee thing that involved two long braids linked together six inches below his chin. It was a sight.
And? Ventura is considering a presidential bid in 2008.
posted by OleNelson at 11:17 PM
5 Comments:
I saw that same Ventura appearance. And was similarly stunned. Not as stunned as when we saw the Baldwin, though.
Good god, racoon - you belong in the country not in the city!! The city is only for adorable squirrels!
Please, who *isn't* considering a run in '08?
I know I'm considering it at this point. But who knows, so many diversions...
when did you see a baldwin? do tell!!
a) It was most certainly a raccoon. I used to read Ranger Rick, after all.
b) I was referring mainly to on-screen encounters [as in, "My GOD, why didn't someone tell me there was a BALDWIN in The Squid and the Whale???"], but I also encountered a Baldwin at a Christian gathering thing. It was most distressing. If you think normal Baldwin a bad news, try dealing with a born-again Baldwin.
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