An Exercise in Pain and Stupidity

6:30: “Lovely day. Indeed. I should go for a nice, refreshing run.”

6:37: “Drat. I left my running shoes at the gym. No run for me.”

6:39: “Wait a second! I could just use one of my old pairs of running shoes. My brilliance knows no bounds.”

6:44: “Look! Ducks!”

6:46: “You know, I realize that I haven’t run more than five miles in quite some time. But it would feel really nice to run around Lake Monona. I think I shall.”

7:01: “I wonder if the Brangelina baby has been born in my absence. Or if Karl Rove has been indicted. Or if we have invaded Iran. Or if Rush Limbaugh has been arrested again.”

7:30: “Hey! I’m almost exactly halfway around the lake. Only a little over six miles to go.”

7:31: “Hmmmmm…. a thought just occurred to me. Might these have been the running shoes that I stopped using because they gave me such bad blisters on my heels? And because they always cut off the circulation in my toes?”

7:34: “Ow. Blisters. These are the shoes. Ow.”

7:48: “OOOOWWWWWW.”

7:53: “Thinkaboutanythingbuthowmuchyourfeethurt. OwOwOwOwOwOwOw.”

8:20: “Bloody Band-Aids. Lovely.”