For Shame, Self, For Shame
Against all semblance of better judgment, I saw Mission Impossible III last weekend.
I know, I know. I should subject myself to several lashings. I didn’t even have the good sense to formally purchase a ticket to something else and thus avoid contributing to the [dismal] MI:III coffers.
Let me save you the trouble by saying that despite some non-terrible reviews, the thing is indeed quite terrible.
Where to begin?
Well, there’s the whole bit where I kept being all, “Why are they calling Tom Cruise ‘Ethan Hunt’? And why is his child-bride someone other than Kati[e] Holmes? And why aren’t more people beating him up?” It’s just hard to take CrazyTomCruise seriously on-screen anymore, and it didn’t help that his home-life in the movie eerily imitates his home-life at home. Although with [presumably] more guns and disguises and fewer fascinating/scary Scientology rituals.
And the plot was really stupid, of course. Philip Seymour Hoffman [I am unsure about the correct number of l’s, f’s, and n’s in his name, but I don’t feel like looking it up] is… up to no good, I guess? It’s never really clear what he’s doing exactly. And CrazyTomCruise decides to come out of spy retirement to go get him. Then some other stuff happens.
Oh, and it’s completely obvious by minute ten, of course, what each of the upcoming plot “twists” will be. Have you ever seen a spy movie? Or Alias? Or any of several sitcoms? Then you will know exactly what is going to happen and would be better served by catching an Everybody Loves Raymond repeat.
Even my man Kanye let me down. His closing credits theme song… ain’t great.
Overall, I think it’s going to be a dismal movie summer. In fact, there isn’t a single movie that I’m actively looking forward to with anything approaching passion. The DVD releases of Season Two of Battlestar Galactica and Veronica Mars, though? MUCH PASSION.
I know, I know. I should subject myself to several lashings. I didn’t even have the good sense to formally purchase a ticket to something else and thus avoid contributing to the [dismal] MI:III coffers.
Let me save you the trouble by saying that despite some non-terrible reviews, the thing is indeed quite terrible.
Where to begin?
Well, there’s the whole bit where I kept being all, “Why are they calling Tom Cruise ‘Ethan Hunt’? And why is his child-bride someone other than Kati[e] Holmes? And why aren’t more people beating him up?” It’s just hard to take CrazyTomCruise seriously on-screen anymore, and it didn’t help that his home-life in the movie eerily imitates his home-life at home. Although with [presumably] more guns and disguises and fewer fascinating/scary Scientology rituals.
And the plot was really stupid, of course. Philip Seymour Hoffman [I am unsure about the correct number of l’s, f’s, and n’s in his name, but I don’t feel like looking it up] is… up to no good, I guess? It’s never really clear what he’s doing exactly. And CrazyTomCruise decides to come out of spy retirement to go get him. Then some other stuff happens.
Oh, and it’s completely obvious by minute ten, of course, what each of the upcoming plot “twists” will be. Have you ever seen a spy movie? Or Alias? Or any of several sitcoms? Then you will know exactly what is going to happen and would be better served by catching an Everybody Loves Raymond repeat.
Even my man Kanye let me down. His closing credits theme song… ain’t great.
Overall, I think it’s going to be a dismal movie summer. In fact, there isn’t a single movie that I’m actively looking forward to with anything approaching passion. The DVD releases of Season Two of Battlestar Galactica and Veronica Mars, though? MUCH PASSION.
posted by OleNelson at 1:08 AM
5 Comments:
Shame on you! ...adding to CrazyTomCruise's big pot o' crazy money. I've personally decided to never see a CTC movie in the theaters again. I may be convinced to rent a DVD, but I don't want to give him the glory of big box office numbers. Yuck.
The was a time I said I'd see any movie in which PSH appears. I now ammend that comment: I will see anything with PSH AND w/o CTC.
Make that a "There" at the beginning of the second paragraph, if you can call it a paragraph.
I'm glad to hear that it was a bad movie.
VerMar2 is out on DVD this summer? That makes me make a happy face -
I *would* pay money for a judiciously edited version of MI:3 that consisted of nothing but scenes where CTC is getting his tukkus kicked by PSH.
Or, alternatively, a home video copy of the day Katie (with an "ie" dammit!) realizes she's been drugged into passivity and kicks CTC's tukkus for an hour before leaving to return home to normalcy.
That's pretty much it though.
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